Like dark clouds morphing in the sky, such was the nature of my mind. Sadness mixed with grief set in as I wilted, somber and alone. The pain came unannounced. Time stood still, and heaviness settled deep in my heart.
I thought I had been coasting along just fine, though this year was filled with many firsts, my first Christmas, New Year’s, and birthday without her. Even the smallest moments caught me off guard: running across the street for advice, slamming my fingers in a door. Pain followed by the same question every time—who do I call now? My go-to is gone.
Though I am surrounded by close and dear friends, this was a season of reflection, of who she was and what she meant to me. And then, in the midst of anguish, a ray of light broke through. The darkness in my sky began to lift. My thoughts cleared, and like wind, my emotions moved through rather than staying rooted in place.
As sorrow arrived without warning, resilience rose to meet it.
In a 1990 study in Arizona, trees grown inside the Biosphere 2 experiment failed to reach maturity. Designed to simulate a self-sustaining ecosystem, the environment lacked one essential element: wind. Each time the trees reached a certain height, they collapsed. Without external stress, their root systems never strengthened.
These trees mirror the hardships we face in life, those we have endured and those yet to come. When difficulty arises, I remind myself, You have made it this far, and you are going to be okay. That belief grounds me. It gives me hope and reminds me of my strength. Some winds arrive with great force. But through experience and wisdom, I know this: I will be alright. So I breathe more deeply. I allow my emotions. My roots have grown deep, and resilience carries me forward through life’s challenges.
My tree is strong.
May you grow the resilience to carry you through, too.
