While whitewater rafting down a river in the Smokey Mountains, I was in awe of the surroundings. The tall trees in the thick rainforest were luscious shades of green and several of them had already begun changing colors for fall. It drizzled among us as we made our way through the crisp rapids with our tour guide telling jokes about our excursion. It was an exhilarating adventure among friends on the final day of our trip.
Five days earlier, I had landed in North Carolina and met up a long-time friend who had flown in from South Dakota. Many years had passed since we had last spoken. Yet, a month earlier, I had thought of her, so I reached out. Coincidentally, at that time, she was visiting Sarasota with her brother. What were the odds of this timing after so many years? When we met up, it was as if our friendship had never skipped a beat. This got me thinking about the bond of friendships in my life and the epidemic of loneliness we sometimes can face.
Loneliness has steadily increased over the years, impacting more individuals, especially with the rapid pace of technology and more people working remotely. Loneliness can leave one feeling deeply depressed. Even when people are surrounded by friends, colleagues and family, they can still feel lonely as connections go deeper than just having others around. In my own life, I have found that there is an art to building and maintaining friendships, not only with others but with myself. Friendships take effort.
Below are ways to connect authentically and establish meaningful relationships.
AUTHENTICALLY CARING FOR OTHERS There is a saying, “I went out to find a friend, and none could be found. I went out to be a friend, and friends were all around.” In your circle of friends, make it a point of supporting and building others up, empowering their very best qualities. I want to offer a friendship where there is trust. Relationships can strengthen when we step outside ourselves and selflessly give to others without expecting anything in return.
FRIENDSHIP INTIMACY Intimacy is often only thought of as a romantic relationship; however, friendship intimacy is a combination of emotional and behavioral aspects of a nonromantic relationship between two people. It’s characterized by a deep level of familiarity, including knowledge of the other person’s feelings, beliefs and preferences, as well as details about their personal life. When we drop our walls and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, there can be a deep connection from one friend to another.
UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS We all make mistakes. We may have days when we are stressed and are challenging to be around. We may say something hurtful that we regret later. While having healthy boundaries in relationships is essential, understanding and forgiveness are crucial. We all need to have and be given compassion, as it’s part of life’s ups and downs. I know from experience that when I have worked through tough times with others, our friendships have become stronger.
IT BEGINS FROM WITHIN This is vital. Being your own best friend is the core of building healthy relationships with others. The better you care for yourself and lean within, the happier you will be. I recommended practicing self-care, investing in strengthening your mindset and enjoying fun activities. Remember to forgive yourself when you make mistakes and try to bring forth your best qualities. Knowing you can count on yourself is a great way to go about life and to be happy. The more you love yourself, the more love you will have for others.
